Volcanic Ash

Mikaiah has been learning how to write a good paragraph. the first sentence usually has the main ideas. The second sentence adds detail and ideas to the first sentence. The third sentence adds more details and ideas to the second sentence. Read his great paragraph about the volcanic ash.

The volcanic ash is on the cars. Can you imagine what would happen if the ash was exploding out of the volcano. If volcanic ash was pouring all over you it would be hot and dangerous.

The Goggles

In her classroom Josephine wrote a paragraph about some goggles she found at the baths. Her goal is to use words and sentences that make her work interesting and easily understood by the reader. She worked hard with the teacher to improve her writing by recrafting and proof reading it. See her draft and her recrafted writing below. Great work Josephine

Draft:
the goggles looked like real glasses . the swimming goggles is a colour of white and blue and it has a diamond. the goggles can protect your eyes the goggles can let you see in the water.
its making sure that you dont get sore eyes. the eye piece is the shape of an oval. the goggles is hanged up on the board.

Recrafted:

The goggles looked like real glasses. They were white and blue and had a diamond right in the middle. When you wore the glasses they let you see in the water and they protected your eyes. The eye piece was shaped like an oval. They hung up on the board.