Nikita wrote a short introduction about school assembly. She looked closely at her draft writing and then worked hard with the teacher to make her introduction more detailed and interesting for the reader.
Draft:
This morning we had a assembly in the school hall. Then the whole school went there too.
There were lots of characters in the hall.
Re-crafted:
This summer morning the whole school had Assembly in the Hall. All the children sat on the floor. The teachers sat on the seats by the side of the wall and some parents sat on the back seats. Mr Burt and his helpers were at the front with the guitar and the stickers.
PES Art Expo 2022 - Room 7 Artwork
1 year ago
I put interesting words on my story and when people read my strory they will know more about assembly.
ReplyDeleteBy Nikita
Dear Nikita,
ReplyDeleteYour story told me where everyone was sitting at Assembly.
I like sitting by the middle when I am at Assembly.
By Jordan
Hi Nikita, I like your second story because you told me about all the people who were at assembly. Now I know where Mr Burt was! From Mrs Burt
ReplyDelete